The Wacky Adventures of the Crazy Sailor Senshi!
by Silver Miko
Summary: Caffeine+Me+Boredom=This Insane Joyride
1. Part 1~The Search for the Panda Dollie!

Author: Silver Miko  
E -mail: silvermoon510@hotmail.com  
  
  
Welcome all to my crazy tale of parody. This was inspired by Lianne Sentar and Amithyst's " The Adventures Of Psycho Setsuna". A VERY GOOD AND FUNNY FIC! Except the plot's different, but the same wackiness remains. I've needed to do a nice parody for a while. Look for cameos!   
Ja ne!  
  
WOOHOO! ENDYMION!- Silver watching ANY Sailor Moon episode where Mamoru is Prince Endymion. Love that armor!  
  
COCA COLA!- Silver  
  
Onward to destiny!- Vegete  
  
Are you some kind of nutbar or something?- Darien, ' So You Wanna Be in Pictures?'  
  
I wish I were a cat!- Aino Minako, Sailor Stars  
  
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THE WACKY ADVENTURES OF THE CRAZY SENSHI  
Part 1  
Everyone was hanging around the Hikawa Shrine since that's were they always go when they're bored. The sacred fire was lit and all the Inner senshi, the cats, and Mamoru were lined up around Rei.  
" Why do you get to summon Suzaku!" Usagi whined. " Because one: I'm already a miko, two: I know ancient Chinese, three: I'm the only virgin besides Mako-chan and Ami-chan." Minako and Usagi blushed, but not as brightly as Mamoru and the cats.  
" Okay, let's begin." Rei began the chant and threw the scroll into the fire. Nothing happened. " Uh, Rei........ nothing's happening." Luna said. " DAMNIT! SUZAKU APPEAR!!!! I WANT A PANDA!!!!" Rei whined. "Damn Rei. You're taking this Suzaku no Miko thing too far." Minako sighed.  
  
Meanwhile...............  
  
" I will kill Mamoru and get Usagi for myself!" Seiya said to himself trying to pull off Tomo's I'm an Evil Bastard laugh. " Shut up you moron!" Yaten said pulling on Seiya's ponytail. " ITAI!" " Knock it off! I'm reading Super Advanced Physics here!" Taiki yelled. " Shut up! It's not my fault Kakyuu Princess kicked us off Kinmokusei! Just because Seiya kept trying to score with her." Yaten yelled.   
  
" Haruka-papa! Michiru-mama! This prick stole my cookies!" Hotaru said pointing to some ugly Keisuke looking kid who was holding a Crayon Shin doll. " Don't worry, we'll take care of it." Michiru smiled. She and Haruka beat the kid up with their talismans and took all the cookies back. " Cookies........" Haruka said drooling. " You can have some. I got to keep my fragile appearance up!" Hotaru said playing with a baton. " Whatcha doing with that thing?" Setsuna said scarfing her face full with ice cream bars. " Practicing so I can twirl my glaive really cool!" Hotaru grinned. " Ah........" Setsuna said.  
  
  
" SUZAKU! COME ON!!! After we sacrificed Luna to the pool gods!!!" Rei yelled. " Give it up. It's not working." Usagi sighed, petting a drenched Luna. " Damn! I wanted a big fat cuddly Panda!" Rei said sobbing hysterically. " Well, why don't we go to Nerima! Ami-chan can use Mercury Aqua Rhapsody on this fat old dojo guy and you'll have a panda in no time!" Minako said. " HAI!" Usagi said. " Or you could get a stuffed doll." Mamoru said. " Really?! That's great advice Mamoru-san!" Rei said happily. " No problem." " Mamo-chan you're so smart!" Usagi said hugging him. " I know." he sighed. " Yeah! It'll never leave my side! Even in battles! I'll be Sailor Mars! Panda Lover number 1!!"   
" Rei-chan........ you're Sailor Mars?!" Yuuichirou said from the door. " You dumbass! You mean didn't figure it out yet!" Rei said smacking him upside the head. " Will you transform so I can see how short your fuku skirt is?" he said drooling. " No. You can get me my panda plushie!" " Alright! To make my Rei-chan happy, I shall get her a cute little panda dollie!" Yuuichirou said raising a fist in the air.   
  
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" Ah, I'm full!" Setsuna said throwing away 10 Dove Ice Cream bar boxes. " Those cookies were good!" Haruka said burping. " Yeah......." Michiru agreed. Hotaru was still playing with her baton. " Come on! Now for the infinity 8!" She twirled it in an 8, but hit someone in the eye. " ITAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" a familiar rat voice yelled.  
" You?! Three Lights!" Hotaru said throwing the baton aside. " Ouch!" " Hey." Yaten said waving, while Taiki just kept walking while reading until he walked himself into a light pole and lost consciousness. " GRR! Seiya Kou!" Haruka said. " Grr! Tenou Haruka!" " I thought I warned you to stay away from any senshi you rat tailed hentai!" Haruka said. " Shut up you butch bitch!" " Oh dear." Michiru and Yaten said as Haruka tackled Seiya and bashed his head into the pavement. " OW! DAMNIT!" " And this is for trying to score with Usagi! This is for trying to score with Michiru! This is for your f*cking one hit 'Naboregoshi Ne! This is for never letting Yaten sing more! This is for you being an asshole!" " Haruka........." " Yes, Michiru?" Haruka said sweetly. " He's passed out." " Oh." Haruka said getting up and dusting off her hands.  
  
Yuuichirou and Mamoru were shopping around Ginza. " Mamoru-kun, thanks for coming with me!" " No problem, I needed to buy some plant food anyway." " You grow plants?" " Roses! ONLY ROSES!" Mamoru said as he suddenly stopped and looked in window drooling. " Nani?" Yuuichirou said. He looked in the window. It was a chocolate shop. A delicious treat filled shop. " Chocolate............ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....." Mamoru drooled. He immediately went in and bought ten pounds of candy.   
" GASP! A CUTE LITTLE PANDA!" Yuuichirou screamed running into a store and buying it. He danced around. " YES! NOW REI AND I WILL BE MARRIED!!!" he shouted. " GOOD! Get her over me please! I'm sick of always feeling like she's watching me!" Mamoru said. " Will do!"  
  
Meanwhile, Seiya was still plotting Mamoru's demise. He then saw Mamoru talking to the Outer Senshi. " Look! There he is!" Seiya said gleefully. He put on a red baseball cap and shades. " Oh, great disguise Seiya." Yaten said with his famous whatever expression.  
  
Silver: SIGH!!! LOVE YATEN'S FACES!!!!! Seiya needs to get his ass kicked. Oh wait, he already did. ^^  
  
  
" So, Three Lights are back eh?" Mamoru said. " Yup. You better watch out, dude, Seiya might try to kill you." Setsuna said. " Setsuna, you have chocolate all over your face." " AUGH! WHERE?!" Suddenly she saw a moist towelette on the ground. " YES!" grabbing it she washed her face off.   
"Wait a sec! Gimme!" Haruka said grabbing the moist towelette. She sniffed it. " Lemon scented........ This is one of Taiki's!" Haruka looked up to see the Three Lights hanging from a lamp pole. Taiki was reading, Yaten was grumbling, and Seiya was holding a bowling ball. " Uh........ hey!" Seiya said still aiming for Mamoru's head.   
" SEIYA! YOU RAT!" Haruka yelled. She quickly climbed up the pole and began smacking Seiya. " Ouch! Get away!" Seiya screamed like a girl. Yaten and Taiki climbed down and left Haruka to smack Seiya.   
" Hi guys." Yaten said watching. " Hey........." Taiki said still reading. " What was Seiya trying to do?" Mamoru asked dumbly. " Huh? Are you serious?" Yaten said. " Don't mind him, Taiki's hair stuff is giving off some kind of smell that's messing with Mamoru's brain." Ami said appearing from behind Setsuna. " Right........ wait! Ami-chan!" Taiki said looking up from his book. Ami looked up from her book. " Taiki-san! Hi!" she said cutely. " What are you reading?!" " Stage 5 Calculus. You?" " Super Advanced Physics." " OH! Trade!" Ami said switching books with Taiki.  
Meanwhile, Seiya began kicking and kicked Haruka in the face, causing her to fall off the pole, but she landed on her feet. " You damn rat!" " SCREW YOU! I WILL GET USAGI-CHAN!" Seiya said shaking a fist as he jumped into the Three Lights Mobile. " SEIYA! GET BACK HERE!" Yaten yelled as Seiya sped off.  
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Later, the outer senshi, Mamoru, Taiki, Ami, Yaten, and Yuuichirou were all at Haruka's apartment. " OOH! CAN I GO SWIMMING!" Ami said excited seeing the large pool. " Sure!" Haruka said. " YEAH!" Ami said running and changing into a bathing suit. She did a cannon ball into pool and began swimming happily.  
Taiki watched with some interest. " So guys, what are we going to do about Seiya? We can't let him kill Mamoru-san or else......." Michiru said looking to Setsuna. " Or else basically, the future is REALLY screwed. Where's the freezer?" she said walking into the kitchen. " WOOHOO! Ice cream!" she yelled happily devouring a Friendly's Snickers Ice Cream log.  
  
  
Outside, Seiya was looking into the apartment through binoculars. " I'll get you yet prissy cape boy!!!" Seiya said laughing insanely. He jumped out of the car with a large back pack full of stuff.  
  
" LOOKIE! I did a cartwheel underwater!" Ami said getting out of the pool and drying off. " Yeah! Nice!" Taiki said. " Thanks Taiki!" Ami said dancing happily. Setsuna was sitting on the couch full after eating the log of ice cream. Mamoru was playing with Rei's panda bear. " I'm Mr. Panda! I'm a cuddly bear! I can do karate and sing! You are my only love............" " Mamoru-san! Please stop singing!" Hotaru said hitting him on the head. " Yes miss."   
  
Suddenly the door burst open and Seiya appeared with a bandanna around his forehead a la Rambo. " YOU'RE DEAD CAPEBOY!!!" he tossed a match into the bag and threw it into the room. The bag exploded and a brownish gas filled the room. Everyone plugged their noses. " YUCK! Who farted?!" Yuuichirou asked. " Minna, run! He's nuts!" Hotaru yelled. Haruka broke open her window. " Let's jump for it!" All of them jumped out of the window. " Uh, I just forgot, I live in a penthouse." " AUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!" everyone yelled as they flew seven stories to the ground.  
Luckily they landed okay except for Yuuichirou. " Itai......." he said as Mamoru looked around for a get away. " MAMORU!!!" Seiya yelled standing behind them. " Uh........ STOP OR SILVE HAIRED BOY GETS IT!" Mamoru said. " Ow!" Yaten said feeling something pointy against his temple.  
" That's a candy cane you moron!" Seiya yelled. "Ah well! Run for it!" Mamoru yelled. He spotted two cars. Haruka's beautiful yellow Ferarri, and a light blue Voltswagon station wagon. Mamoru chose the VW. He shoved Yaten into the front seat as the Outer Senshi and Yuuichirou dove into the back seat. Before Taiki and Ami could get in, Mamoru sped off laughing like an idiot.  
  
" WAIT!" Ami yelled. She was still in her bathing suit. " Come on guys! Let's get them!" Seiya said in the Three Lights Mobile. " Screw you you crazy prick!" Taiki said. " Taiki, they have Ami's bag and your text books. " WHAT?!" Ami and Taiki screamed. They jumped into the car as Seiya sped off.  
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" You f*cking moron! We should have taken my car!" Haruka said. " But this car is fun!" Mamoru grinned. " Hotaru, can you PLEASE get rid of the effect Taiki's hair stuff had on him?" " I'll try." Hotaru closed her eyes as purple light surrounded her hands and she touched Mamoru's head.   
" OOH! PRETTY COLORS!" Mamoru said as Hotaru finished. " There." " Woah, what happened?" Mamoru asked. " Just drive, Mamoru!" Michiru said. " Hey guys. Who's car is this?" Yaten asked. He looked through the glove compartment. " Registered to Mizuno Ami...... Woah." " Ami's car? Shit her mom sure was cheap." Yuuichirou said. " Poor Ami."   
  
"They better not hurt my car!" Ami sobbed. " That's your car?" Taiki asked. " Yeah. I had to work REALLY hard at Crown for it. If they get a scratch........." " Don't worry! Mamoru'll be dead soon." Seiya said smiling. " Uh, Seiya, you REALLY shouldn't kill Mamoru." Ami said. " Why?" " Uh.... damn, Setsuna-san's good at explaining this crap."  
  
" What in hell is Crystal Tokyo?!" Yaten said. " GOD! I hate different season people!" Hotaru yelled. She explained everything to Yaten. " Woah....... Usagi's going to rule the entire universe with Mamoru? I guess Seiya really shouldn't kill Mamoru." " Yeah! If he does, then Crystal Tokyo will get screwed up, we won't get to rule our planets, and Small Lady won't be born!" Setsuna said. " Would that last part be so bad?" Haruka said. " Haruka!" Hotaru said. "Sorry Hotaru, but you got to admit she is annoying. Chibi Chibi was MUCH more cuter." Michiru said, applying chapstick.   
" I'm hungry!" Yaten whined. " Well, HEY! There's a Burger World!" " YEAH!" everyone but Hotaru said. She held her head. " Oh God........ help me get through this...." Mamoru pulled up the drive thru window. A fifteen year old with poofy blond hair and a slack jaw appeared. " Heheh. Welcome to Burger World, what do you want?" " Uh, guys?" "COKE!" everyone yelled. " 7 Cokes, uh..........." " CHEESEBURGERS AND FRIES!" everyone yelled. " Okay, 7 orders of cheeseburgers and fries......... uh.........." Mamoru closed his eyes to think.  
" Is that all sir?" the drive thru waiter, who sounded different said. " YUP!" Mamoru grinned. Suddenly he as pulled through the drive thru and came face to face with Seiya who was wearing a Burger World uniform. Seiya dragged Mamoru into the freezer where the blond kid and some brunette kid with braces were frozen. " Uh huh..... this sucks...." " Heheh... yeah." the blond said.  
Seiya pinned Mamoru to the wall. " OKAY MASK! YOU DIE NOW!!!" Seiya said taking out some acid from his leather outfit. " Aw.... f*ck off!" Mamoru said trying to punch Seiya, but he was frozen to the wall. " Kuso!" Mamoru said. " STAR SENSITIVE INFERNO!!!" The door burst open as the outer senshi, Star Healer, and Yuuichirou appeared. " Get away from Mamoru-san!" Saturn yelled as she jumped at Seiya and began beating him with her Silence Glaive. Uranus began chipping away the ice with her Space Sword while Healer used Star Sensitive Inferno.  
" YEAH! I'm free!" Mamoru said happily. " Saturn, come on!" Uranus yelled as they all transformed back into civilians. Hotaru ran out. Haruka and Michiru stopped. They saw a bunch of BW Cookies. They grabbed a bunch and ran out grabbing the food. Everyone jumped into the fun mobile and sped off.  
  
Seiya brushed the ice chips off of him. " DAMN! Come on guys!" Seiya said to Taiki and Ami who were eating up all the fries. " Sorry........... uh Seiya, your hair......." Ami said as Taiki tried not to laugh. Seiya whipped out the mirror he always carried and screamed. His ponytail, and half of his hair was burnt off. " Shit, I must have spilled the acid on my head! AWWW! F*ck!" Seiya whined.  
  
Silver: AHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!HA! Take that rat boy!  
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End of part 1.  
And I crazy enough yet. I've got another half of a glass of Coke left............hmmmmmmheheheheh HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Professor Tomoe like laughter)  
  
If you hadn't guessed, Burger World and the two fifteen year olds are from Beavis and Butt-Head.  
Don't ask WHY Ami would buy a VW wagon. I thought it was one of the dumber things she might do.  
Did anyone noticed I HATE Seiya but LOVE Yaten. I LOVE Mamo-chan too. Poor Hotaru. She's the only sane one. Wait.........................   
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Part 2~The Chase is On!

Author: Silver Miko  
E-mail: silvermoon510@hotmail.com  
  
  
THE WACKY ADVENTURES OF THE CRAZY SENSHI  
Part 2  
  
  
  
" Dude, I'm bored." Setsuna said playing with her nails. " Me too." Yaten said. " Okay, let's see..... maybe there's something fun in Ami's bag!" Mamoru said. Yaten grabbed it and opened it. " Text books...... glasses...... hey a sandwhich, bottles water, tampons........ ehhhhhhh......... a zippo..." " Ooh! Let me see!" Yuuichirou said. " Okay." Yaten tossed the zippo to Yuuichirou.   
" You smoke?" Hotaru asked. " No, I'm a pyro. Living at the shrine does that to you." " Oh...... don't light that in here." Haruka said as she Michiru scarfed down cookies. " Um, there's some manga in here...." Yaten tossed them to Hotaru. " A pack of cigarettes.. woah, Ami smokes? And HEY!!!" "What?!" " Highway Bingo!" " WOOHOO!" everyone but Hotaru yelled. She was fully engrossed in the manga.   
" Hotaru, what manga is that?" Haruka asked. Yuuichirou grabbed it. " WOAH! HENTAI MANGA!!!" he said quickly flipping through the pages. " HOTARU!!!!" the outer senshi yelled. " Well, it was entertaining." " Mamoru, where are we?" Yaten asked looking around. They seemed to be driving through a field of cattle. " I don't know...... THUMP! MOOOOOOOOO!" " Oops! We hit a cow!" " YES!" Setsuna said looking at her bingo card.   
After hitting various things and spotting many weird objects, Haruka won the game. " YES!!" " Darn." Setsuna said. Meanwhile, Yuuichirou was sleeping against the window while Yaten rested his head on the dashboard. Haruka and Michiru and Setsuna were eating cookies, Hotaru was playing with Sega Game Gear. Mamoru had put on the Anime Radio Station. " WOOHOO! Unmei wa Utsukushiku!" Michiru said reaching over to turn up the volume. Still asleep, Yaten tried to swap Michiru away, but ended up grabbing her breast.   
Haruka immediatly punched Yaten's head. " OW! F*CK!" " HENTAI!" Michiru yelled smacking Yaten. " OW! What?" " You grabbed my breast!" Michiru yelled. " Sorry, I was asleep!" Yaten said falling back asleep.  
  
  
" Guys, I hate to alarm you, but I need to use a bathroom." Ami said. " NO!" Seiya yelled. " Seiya, maybe you.." " Shut up Taiki!" " PLEASEEEEEEE?" " NOOO!" Seiya screamed. " FINE! I tried to be f*cking nice but I've had it! Unless you want me to get blood all over the car seats you'll stop so I can buy some pads!" " NNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANI?" " I got my period you stupid asshole!" Ami screamed. Seiya quickly screeched into a gas station as Ami jumped out and ran inside and to the bath room. She returned and sat down. " Here." Taiki said handing her some Midol. " Aw.... thanks Taiki-san! Could you find me somethig to wear though?" Ami said STILL in her stupid blue and white one piece swim suit. " Oh right." Taiki looked through the glove compartment and pulled out a tee shirt. " Here, this should fit. I think it's Seiya's." " Okay." she pulled on the teeshirt and looked at it suddenly horrfied. " ICK! RICKY MARTIN?!" she screamed. Seiya blushed.  
" Mamoru-san, can we PLEASE stop now!" Hotaru said. " Huh? ARE YOU NUTS?! SEIYA IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" " We're all tired! We need to sleep!" " WE NEED FOOD!" the three other Outer Senshi yelled. " NO YOU DON'T!" Yaten yelled back. " LOOK! We're in the middle of no where! Unless they have a tracking device, we're safe. Let's go hide out in that spooky looking cabin for now." Yuuichirou said pointing to a large cabin in the middle of the pasture/field. " YEAH! Like camping!" Haruka said grinning.   
The seven made their way inside. There was a fire going. " MOSHI MOSHI? Anyone home?" Setsuna yelled. No answer. " Nope." everyone immediately pulled out sleeping bags and fell asleep.   
  
  
" Yami ni tojikomerarete mo hikareau......" " Ami-chan! SHH! I'm trying to think!" Seiya said. Taiki was driving now and Seiya was alone in the back. He was wearing sunglasses, even though it was night as he drew blue prints in his " OPERATION: ASSASSINATION" notebook.   
A blue convertable was driving next to them. The driver had silver hair and blue eyes and was drinking Coca Cola. The girl in the passenger seat had long aqua hair and blue eyes. She was drinking tea. " OI! Vegete-P! It's Seiya!" " OOH! GET HIM!! He's with uteri boy and Ami!" " YIPPEE!" Silver said. She rolled down the window. " Oi oi, gimme Tasuki's tessen that we borrowed!" " Hai!" Vegete chirped going FY SD mode grabbing the tessen. She handed it to Silver. " YOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! SEIYA!!!" Silver yelled. Seiya rolled down his window. " Yes?" " We have something for you!" " REALLY?! WHAT?!" " THIS! LEKKA SHIEN!!!!!!!!" Silver yelled as fire shot out from the blue car and burnt Seiya. He managed to put out the fire, but most of his remaining hair was gone. He had clumps of black hair and burnt skin on his head. Taiki couldn't help but laugh.  
  
Silver: HA! TAKE THAT SCUMBAG SEIYA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mamoru was in a masked sleeping bag, Yaten's had stars on it, Hotaru's had Saturn, Setsuna's had ice cream bars, Yuuichirou's was flame designed, and Haruka and Michiru shared a Uranus and Neptune sleeping bag. No one minded. Yaten tossed and turned in his sleep.  
"UMI GA HIROGARU!" a voice sang out. Yaten woke and looked around. He heard singing. He quietly walked up the cabin stairs and saw someone twirling around and singing. " WHO'S THERE?!" he asked almost frightened. " HUH? WHO ARE YOU?!" the figure yelled throwing out a beam of light. Yaten eeped and hugged onto a mannequin. The figure lit up a lighter. " Yaten-kun?!!!!!!!" " Minako-chan?!!!!" Minako grinned and ran towards him. She shut and locked the door and blew out the lighter. " Uh.................. Minako-chan we really shouldn't do this here with the Outers, Mamoru, and Yuuichirou downstairs!" " Shut up!" she said pouncing onto him.  
  
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Mamoru was having a nice dream about Usagi. A VERY nice dream. Suddenly he was awakened by Setsuna. " Mamoru-san! Get up!" " Nani kore?" he asked sleepily. " Listen!" Haruka said. Mamoru strained to listen. He heard some music.   
" Search for your love! Eien no Starlight...... kimi ga kaori tsudzuke..." "It's Seiya!" Hotaru said. She looked around. " Where's Yaten-kun?" Michiru asked. They then heard him upstairs yelling something. " He must be sick of that song too." Haruka said grinning. "Let's get him and get the f*ck out of here!" Hotaru said. " HOTARU?!" " Shut up, I'm 14!" she said as everyone ran upstairs.   
They tried to open the door but it was locked. " Kuso!" Hotaru said. " Allow me!!!" Yuuichirou said lighting up the zippo. " NO! I'll get it open." Haruka said. She kicked the door open. " It's dark in here!" Michiru said. Hotaru found the light switch and turned it on. " Oh............... my....... GOD!!!" the outer senshi, Mamoru, and Yuuichirou said. Minako was wearing her pajamas and filing her nails while Yaten, only wearing sheet was out of it. " Minako-chan?! What are you doing here?" " What do you mean? This is the Aino Family Hack Shack! I come here to get away from Artemis. Damn nagging kitty. Why are you all here?" " Seiya's trying to kill Mamoru. I think he's finally snapped." Hotaru explained. " Big shock there, ne?" Minako grinned lazily.   
" Whatever! We got to go! Seiya's here!" Mamoru said. " Alright. Yaten-KUN! Wake up!" Minako said shoving at Yaten's shoulder. " What? Ohhhh....... AH! Minna!" " Yeah yeah. Get dressed loverboy! Our fave psycho Starlight is here." Yuuichirou said hugging onto the panda dollie. " Okay!" Yaten said quickly dressing while Minako held up a sheet for his privacy, albeit she peeked a bit.   
They ran out and jumped into the VW crap mobile and sped off as Seiya ran after them screaming and cursing. " Woah, did you guys see Seiya's hair?" Minako said. " I don't want to know what happened there." Setsuna said eating, you guessed it, an ice cream bar. " Setsuna! That was my last Hagen Daaz Nutty Bar!" Minako said. " Sorry...." Setsuna said sheepishly.  
Minako was sitting in Yaten's lap since there wasn't any room for her to sit. Haruka was VERY happy to finally be driving. Michiru was now in the passenger seat. In the backseat was Yuuichirou, Mamoru, Hotaru, then Setsuna, then Yaten with Minako on his lap.  
  
Silver: Personally Yaten and Minako make a VERY GOOD COUPLE!!!  
  
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Ami was now driving and in a better mood. Taiki was in the passenger seat reading War and Peace. Seiya was in the back spraying his hair with 'Insta- Hair'. " Guys, do you know where in the hell we are?" Ami asked. She had found some nice overalls at the Aino Hack Shack and was happy to cover up El Diablo Ricky Martin.  
  
Silver: HE IS THE DEVIL!!!! I SWEAR HE IS!!!  
  
  
" How does it look?" Seiya asked. His hair looked more greasier than even Hinogeshi from Yu Yu Hakusho. Taiki and Ami just held up and okay sign as they struggled not to laugh. Ami put on the radio and was happy that they were playing songs by the group Deen. " Ah........ Dan Dan Kokoro...." she sighed happily.  
  
In the silly mobile, Haruka was looking for gophers to run over. " OOH! Wait, that's just hay." she sighed. Michiru was reading a mini- travel map. " Let's see..... we are somewhere between Tokyo and Sendai. Hmm..... there's a good shrine up in Sendai." Michiru said. " Guys, I REALLY have to pee." Yuuichirou whined. " Me too." Mamoru said. " Okay, quick stop. Luckily Ami's VW has a good enough engine for me to do my usual 75 mph. We're way ahead of rat boy and the book worms." Haruka said.  
They stopped near a deer crossing sign as Yuuichirou ran out quickly in the tall grass. Mamoru, blushing, walked quickly behind a tree and ran back to the car. Yuuichirou came back, his jeacket burnt a bit. " What the hell happened?" Yaten asked. " Uh, I ws trying to burn a bunch of carrots." he said grinning.   
" Yare yare. What a dumbass." Yaten said. " On the contrary, he's smart enough to know when to avoid Rei-chan." Minako said. " True." Yaten said. " Guys, I think we should find a way back to Tokyo." Michiru said. " YEAH!" Hotaru said. " How? Seiya's always somewhere behind us!" " Simple. Leave it to me!" Haruka said grinning and raising her eybrows.  
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OOH! What will Haruka-chan do? Gotta wait till part 3! ja ne!  
  
  
  



	3. Part 3~Have We Scared You Yet?

Author: Silver Miko  
E-mail: silvermoon510@hotmail.com  
  
THE WACKY ADVENTURES OF THE CRAZY SENSHI  
Part 3  
  
  
" Where are we now?" Taiki asked looking up from his Ancient Latin book. " Uh, I don't know." Ami said looking around. She stopped the car. " HEY! Don't stop! We're close to catching up with them!" " Uh, why are here again? Oh yeah, my car." Ami said. " Guys, we're lost. Face it." " Why don't we ask the dude with te backpack where we are." Seiya said. The three got out of the car.   
" Excuse me. We're lost, can you help us?" Ami asked. " Me? HA! We're in Kyoto right?" he said grinning. " AH! FANGS! SAVE ME TAIKI-SAN!" Ami said jumping into his arms. " DUDE! What's with your hair?" he asked Seiya. " Nothing! Nothing I say!" Seiya said jumping ito the driver seat of the car. Ami and Taiki quickly got in as Seiya sped off. The boy looked up at the sky. " I'LL GET YOU YET SAOTOME!!"  
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" Junken po! Aiko-de-sho! Aiko-de-sho!" the outer senshi and Minako yelled while playing Junken in the back seat as Yaten drove. " WOOHOO! I won!" Minako said grinning. " Aw shucks." Setsuna said. She wanted to win at least one car game. " HEY! Let's play who can ice cream bars the fastest!" she suddenly said. " FOOD?! Yeah!" Haruka and Michiru said happily. The three began. Finally Setsuna won. " YES! I'VE FINALLY WON!!!" she laughed meniacally. " Wow, I feel like I'm home all of a sudden." Hotaru said. She was looking out the window, desperately thinking of how to ditch this joyride from hell and get home.  
  
Silver: Sorry, Hotaru, you're seeing this through the end! Whenever that is cuz I'm having MUCH fun writing this! ^^   
  
Meanwhile...................  
  
" Geez! Yuuichirou is always screwing things up! Where's my damn panda?!" Rei whined. " Who knows." Makoto said bored. " HEY! Why in hell are we still here? It's like three in the morning!" Usagi said yawning. " Good point. Oh well! Sleepover!" Makoto said with a huge grin. The three pulled out sleeping bags. Usagi's had stars, moons, and bunnies on it. Rei's had pandas on it, and Makoto's was just plain green. All three snored loudly. " Waugh!" Luna sobbed. She and Artemis would never get sleep at this rate.  
  
  
In the sh*t mobile, Yuuichirou was blissfully asleep. Minako was falling asleep in the passenger seat as Hotaru was contemplating using Sailor Teleport, but realized she didn't have enough senshi for it since most of them were out of their minds. Yaten was fixing his PERFECT silver hair. The three older outer senshi were all snoring away. Mamoru was writing a fan letter to Watse Yuu. " And thanks for making Tamahome! He's so cool. I can totally identify with him. Also, Miaka is kawaii. She reminds me of my girlfriend. Keep up the good work in Ayashi no Ceres. Sincerely, Chiba Mamoru."   
  
  
In the Three Lights Mobile Ami was painting her nails. " Ah, ice blue......" she said as she ate some left over fries from Burger World. Taiki was sleeping. Reading so many books had finally worn him out. Seiya was singing a strane little tune. " Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage......................." he hummed.   
  
Silver: How true! ^^  
  
  
Soon the sun began to rise. "Come on guys! Get up!" Mamoru yelled. " AH! Shut up!" the three older outer senshi yelled. Hotaru, not being able to sleep, finally snapped. " THAT'S IT! I'm sick of this f*cking car chase from hell! Haruka-papa! Driver's seat now! Michiru-mama! To the maps! Yuuichirou, do NOT light that damn zippo in here! Setsuna-mama you're okay. Minako and Yaten get the hell in the way back! You're taking up my leg room! Mamoru-san take a nap for now." " Okay." everyone said quickly.  
"AH! Driver's seat again!" Haruka said in her happy racing daze. "Okay, if we shoot right past them, we can pretty much get away since Seiya's so focused on one direction." Hotaru said. " Okay! Leave it to me! Tenou Haruka, Racer Extrodinare!" Haruka said grinning and munching on a cookie.  
" Yaten-kun, it's kind of roomy back here." " So you won't have to sit in my lap anymore!" he said relieved. " I don't have to, unless you want me to." she said with a wink. " UGH! Save that for later you two!" Hotaru sighed annoyed. " Usako.......... hmmmmmmmm Usako....." Mamoru murmured in his sleep. "Looks like Mamoru-san's having a pretty good dream!" Yuuichirou said reading the hentai manga.   
  
Silver: Yuuichirou-chan no ecchi. Ne ne?  
  
Seiya gritted his teeth. " Darn where are they?! I MUST get rid of Mamoru!" " Right.... yeah." Ami said unenthusiastically as she played Tetris on her mini computer. " WHAT?! NO! Blocking my ass! Stupid Tetris cubes!" she yelled. Suddenly the station wagon sped past the light's mobile.  
" Dumb car." Seiya remarked. About five miles down he realized it. " KUSO! That was them!" he immediately turned the car around REALLY fast causing Ami to fall onto Taiki. Taiki screamed. " ECCHI!!!" Ami quickly got up and blushed. Seiya began laughing again. " SOON! USAGI WILL BE MINE!!!!!!!!"  
  
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Seiya no baka! YAWWWWWWWWWNNNNN. So sleepy. Skiing is really hard, then climbing up a trail AFTERWARDS is tiring. Ja Ne......  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Part 4~Truth, Dare, and Too Much Radio

Author: Silver Miko  
E-mail: silvermoon510@hotmail.com  
  
  
THE WACKY ADVENTURES OF THE CRAZY SENSHI  
Part 4  
  
  
  
" Low rider........ is a little higher......... low rider......is a cool rider....... take a little trip take a little trip..... take a little trip with me............. yeah!" everyone in the gagging wagon sang. Even Hotaru, who was in a better mood after sleeping from seven to ten in the morning. " Ah......... it's easier to sleep back here." Minako said stretching out her arms.  
" Minna, we're almost back in Tokyo. We have a few more hours to go." Haruka said happily. " So, what do we do when we get back?" Yaten asked. " Uh..........." Haruka said having no idea. " Wait! Rei-chan was trying to summon a god named Suzaku, but it didn't work. What if got the REAL Suzaku no Miko and Suzaku Seishi and get them to summon Suzaku!!!!!!" Minako said. " Ohhhhhhh...... but isn't she in the book world..... oh my God what am I saying?" Hotaru said. " It's possible. I can do it." Setsuna said grinning. " Setsuna-san! You're so kakkoi!" " Yeah........" she sighed.   
  
  
  
" Seiya, WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN OFF NABOREGASHI HE ALREADY?!" Taiki said annoyed. " Fine! You obviously don't enjoy good music." Seiya said. " Oh be quiet you too." Ami said. She was trying to figure out how she could transfom in the car since she was sick of looking like a hick Ricky Martin fan. " AHA! Mercury Crystal Power, make up!" she transformed, catching Taiki's undivided attention. " There! Now I feel better." she sighed. She took out her computer and put her visor on. " Uh, Ami, I've always wondered this." " What Taiki-san?" " Why do you need your visor if you have your computer?" " Uh........ cause my visor is cool. I like it! It makes everything orange and blue!" she said blushing. Seiya and Taiki sweatdropped. " I'm bored." Ami said. " Let's play Trivia. I'll start by asking you about Hydroquantic Equations." " YEAH!" Ami said excited.  
  
  
" I'M BORED!!!" Yuuichirou whined. " Hey! I know! Let's play I Spy." " Okay!" Haruka said grinning. " Hotaru-chan, since you seem pretty left out, you go first." " Thanks, Minako-chan. Okay, I Spy with my little eye, something blue and you can find it in nature." " Uh......... WATER!!" Yuuichirou yelled. " No." " The sky?" Haruka asked. " Nope, Haruka-papa." " I know! Ami-chan's cheesy leaf mirror air freshener!" Mamoru said. " Yup!" " Okay, my turn." Mamoru said grinning. He looked around. " Okay, I spy with my little eye, something brownish black, cold, and somewhat wooden." " What the hell?" Yuuichirou and Setsuna said. " Just guess." Mamoru said grinning. " Coal?" Hotaru said. " Nope." " The road?" " Nope." " The trees?" " It's spring...." " Still." " Nope." " I KNOW!!" Setsuna suddenly yelled. " What?" " My ice cream bar!" " Yup!" " Yeah! Okay my turn! I spy with my little eye, something clumpy, black, and charred." " Charcoal?" " No Yuuichirou." " The car flooring in the driver's seat?" " Nope Haruka!" " I KNOW!" Michiru suddenly yelled. " What?" " Seiya's head!" " YUP!" Setsuna yelled. " SEIYA's HEAD?!?!!" Everyone said. They turned to see Seiya laughing insane and trying to ram them.   
" STOP IT! THAT'S MY CAR SEIYA-SAN!" Ami yelled frantically. " OUR CAR!!" Taiki yelled. " DIE MAMORU!!!" "Shine Aqua Illusion!" Ami froze Seiya causing the car the skid off into a corn field. " SHIMATTA!" Seiya was heard yelling. " Poor Ami-chan........" Minako sighed.   
  
Silver: Hey, she WANTED to go with Seiya......  
  
" I'm still bored." Yuuichirou said. " Let's play truth or dare." Mamoru suggested. "Okay, I'll go first." Haruka said. " Okay." everyone agreed. " Okay, Hotaru-chan, truth or dare." " Truth." " Didn't it ever piss you off having to live with Kaolinite and the other Witches 5?" " Actually, the Witches 5 didn't know I existed except as the Silent Messiah. That's why they were always so stupid to attack me. And as for Kaolinite, she could be a real bitch sometimes, but I kind of felt bad for her. She really did love my dad and she didn't want to die. She was always being made fun of by the Witches 5 and was really jealous of them. I kind of feel guilty that she died cause Mistress 9 was in my body when she killed her." " But Kaolinite was a real bitch." Haruka said. " No, she was just doing it for my dad when he was possessed." " I never looked at it that way." Michiru said. " Okay, Michiru-mama, Truth or Dare?"   
" Dare?" " I dare you to kiss Haruka-papa on the lips for five seconds." "Okay..." Michiru said. She and Haruka began to kiss. " Uh......... it's been five seconds...... Haruka-papa....... Michiru-mama.." " Gomen." both said sitting back and grinning.   
" Minako-chan, truth or dare?" " Truth." " Why are always so obsessed with idols?" Minako and Yaten made a VERY funny expression. " Eh?!" " Come on...confess." "Well, I want to be an idol, and idols are so cool and full of energy... plus they're so cute." " Minako-chan....... do ever realize you ALREADY ARE AN IDOL!?" Haruka said. " Huh?" " Sailor V! You're V-chan aren't you? You have video games, movies, manga, merchandise, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST HEROINE IDOL IN TOKYO for crying out loud!" " Wow, I never though of that......" " Sailor V-chan?" Yaten said puzzled. " Oh!!!!!!!!!!" Hotaru once again explained things to Yaten.  
" Oh.... kakkoi!" " Ara, Mamoru-san, Truth or Dare?" " Truth." " When you and Rei-chan were dating did you two ever...." " NO! Geez! We never really even dated! I only thought of her as a friend! She's the one who thought of it as dating!" Mamoru said. " Okay okay." Minako said blushing.   
" Setsuna-san, truth or dare?" " Dare." " I dare you not to eat any ice cream for two hours." " IE IE IE IE IE!!!!!!!" Setsuna said shaking her head. " Too bad." " Damn. Yaten, truth or dare." " Truth." " Okay, two things. One, doesn't it ever piss you off having to hang around Seiya all the time, and two, what is your fave anime?" " YES! I don't like ALWAYS hanging around that nutbar. And as for question two, there's a lot. Let's see...... Fushigi Yuugi, Here Comes Greenwood, Utena.... ah.. that's it I think. Oh, yeah. Slayers too." " Okay, this sucks." Hotaru said. " Yeah... HEY! Only one more hour to go and we're home!" Haruka said. " YIPPEEE!"  
  
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh........ they think it's over so soon, ne? I think not. Hehehehkakakakaaaaaaaa. (Tomo laughter)  
The I Spy idea came from Vegete! So funny.....   
The Truth or Dare game was for a purpose. To clarify Rei and Mamoru's relationship, to show Setsuna's love of ice cream, to give Haruka/Michiru fans a good kissing scene, and the Yaten answer was kind of a pun on Sakamoto Chika. She plays Nuriko/Houki(OVAs only) in FY, and some chick in Greenwood. Utena was kind of obvious cause Utena wants to be a prince even though she's a girl.   
Okay, that's it for now. Ja ne. ^^  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Part 5~Almost Done, But Not Quite Yet

Author: Silver Miko  
E-mail: silvermoon510@hotmail.com  
  
THE WACKY ADVENTURES OF THE CRAZY SENSHI  
Part 5  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
" Donna koto mo yareba tachiku jaana senai......" Minako sang loudly. " Minako-chan..... URUSAI!" Hotaru yelled. " But I'm bored. We've been driving for like a day......." Minako sighed. " Guys, come on. Almost half an hour to go........ WHAT THE HELL?!" Michiru yelled. Looking ahead they saw the worst thing imaginable.   
Bumper to bumper traffic jam.  
  
" NOOOO! NOT TRAFFIC!!!" everyone yelled. Hotaru finally broke down. " That's it....... I can't take this anymore..... Saturn Planet Power, make up!!!" Hotaru yelled transforming. " Woah, so that's what it looks like when she transforms." Minako said. " SAILOR TELEPORT!!!" Nothing happened. " DAMNIT! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" she said shaking her Silence Glaive. " SATURN! NOT THE GLAIVE!!" Haruka said dodging it's point.  
  
  
" Damn, traffic. Looks bad." Ami said. " NO! Well, Mamoru is out there somewhere! I WILL get him yet." " Yeah, right... Taiki-san, maybe we should just forget about him and get the hell out of here." " Someone's got to watch him. He's snapped." " He's beyond snapped." Ami said. " SHHH!!!!!! Rhino the Traffic Bitch is ON!" Seiya yelled. " Well, the Tokyo Turnpike is blocked with nasty bumper to bumper traffic that's going to take a LOOOOONG time to get through. Folks, stay in town. Now back for the 106.9 weather report....." " Darn. And Traffic Bitch never lies!" Seiya said punching the steering wheel.  
  
  
" Damn, Rhino's right." Yaten said. " Well, how about charades." " NO! IEIE IEIEIE! Enough of this! I want out!" Minako said SD mode. " Minako-chan! Stop it!" Haruka yelled. " I can't help it. I think I left the iron on at my house." " Well now that's a different story." " Yup....... doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot dooooot ITSU DATTE WATASHI YO!!!!!" Minako said singing. " STOP IT! That's it, Blanky time!" Hotaru said. She grabbed the spare blanket under her seat and covered the way back up. " There, she's REALLY annoying me." " What good will that do?" " Out of sight out of mind." Hotaru said.  
  
" Okay, now for the pinkie toe." Ami said painting the little toe with her ice blue nail polish. " Ah....... done! Just need to the let it dry. " How long will that take?" Taiki asked. " A few minutes." Taiki wiggled his toes. " Ooh! What a pretty color you chose. Thanks for painting my toe nails Ami-chan." Taiki said grinning. " No problem." " HA! The car in front of us moved a millimeter! I'm closer to my goal!" Seiya said laughing a messed up Kuno laugh.  
  
" I'm hungry." Mamoru said. " Me too." Yuuichirou said. " YEAH!" Haruka and Michiru said. Everyone looked at Setsuna. " Nani? Why are you looking at me?" " Well, you keep making ice cream bars appear? How?! GET US SOME!" Yuuichirou whined. " Well, actually I just get them from my stock at the Time Gate.... fine." she made a few boxes appear. " YIPPPEEEEEEEE!" " Minako-chan, Yaten-kun, want any?" Mamoru asked. " Ie! We're already getting some......" Minako said. " Huh?" Mamoru asked puzzled. He shrugged it off and ate the ice cream.   
Soon honking was heard. " What's that? What's going on?" Setsuna asked. " I don't know. It's liked everyone is honking at something. " Uuuuuuuumiiiii ga Hirooo aaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagaaaaaRUUUUUUU!!!!!!!" Minako was nearly screaming as she sang strangely. " What the? She's really off key." Michiru said. " WAIT A SEC!!!!" Hotaru said. She peeked through the blankie and gasped. " What is it Hotaru-chan?" Haruka asked. " Don't ask me! Ask them in the back!" Hotaru said blushing.  
Curious, Yuuichirou pulled the blanket off as Minako and Yaten eeped. Everyone in the car got bug eyed. Both in the way back were in quite a state of undress. Yaten got in front of Minako. " IE! Don't look at her!!!" " That's not where WE'RE looking..." Haruka and Michiru said holding up binoculars. Yaten sweatdropped. " Hmmm...... I'm much better built that you, Yaten-kun." Mamoru said casually as he began to look through the H-manga. " Hmmmm.... ideas for Usako and me..... oh.. did that... did that.... did that..... no. oh wait." he turned it upside down. " Yup, did that too......."   
Suddenly Minako noticed something. A few teenage boys were gawking at her from the back windows of the wagon. " AH! Yaten-kun!" she yelled hugging against his back. " STOP LOOKING YOU PERVERTS!!" Yaten yelled. " OI OI! IT's YATEN KOU OF THREE LIGHTS!!!" one guy yelled. Suddenly a reporter appeared. " Yaten-kun! Who is this girl? Are the Three Lights re-united, can I have your number?!" the guy said spasmatically. " GOD DAMNIT! THIS IS WHY I QUIT SINGING!" Yaten said. " Oi oi Yaten-kun....... SEXYY!" Haruka said as Michiru whistled. Yaten realized he was pretty was revealed to everyone in the car. " ECCHI!!" he yelled.  
" Okay okay... I'll take care of this." Hotaru said. " SILENT WALL!" she made an opaque wall as Minako and Yaten quickly dressed. " STAR SERIOUS LASER!!!!!!!!!" the car shook. " SHIT! SEIYA!" Haruka yelled. Everyone but Yuuichirou transformed. " DON'T HURT MY CAR!" Sailor Mercury said standing on the roof of the 3 Lights mobile.   
" Star Sensitive Inferno!!!!!" Healer yelled hurtling her attack towards Fighter. " HEALER YOU BITCH! You've betrayed Maker and I?!" "AW SHUT UP YOU DAMN LOSER! By the way...... nice hair." Healer said snickering. Fighter fumed as the other senshi laughed their asses off. " Okay, I'm READY FOR HIM! World Shaking!" Fighter screamed as she fell off the car hood and landed on her ass. " OWWIEEE!" she said.   
" Deep Submerge!" "Dead Scream!" " Venus Love and Beauty Shock!" " Silence Glaive Surprise!" " Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" " Star Gentle Uterus!" " UTERUS?!!!!!!" the crowd yelled in disgust and shock. " Dude, what's with that?" " What a f*cked up attack." the crowd whispered. " OH SHUT UP!" Maker yelled. Fighter was pissed. " MERCURY! MAKER! WHY'D YOU ATTACK ME!" Fighter screamed. " Well, everyone else was." " ARG!!!" Fighter yelled as something white fell out of her mouth. " Oh my.... Fighter...... you're fronth tooth." Fighter licked her teeth. And noticed her front tooth was missing. " MY TOOTH!" she saw Tuxedo Kamen. " YOU ASSHOLE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Fighter screamed running at Tuxedo Kamen.  
He jumped out of the way and pinned Fighter to a highway sign with his roses. " Bitch bitch bitch. That's all you EVER do Seiya." Uranus said as they jumped into the funmobile. After blasting out some of the highway railing, Haruka droved through it and onto the highway grass and sped off. " HARUKA! THIS IS ILLEGAL!" Setsuna yelled. " COOL!" Minako said grinning.  
  
" ARG!" Fighter yelled as Mercury and Maker freed her. They got back into the Three Lights mobile and de-transformed. " THAT ASS! I'm going to kill him!" " NO DA! THAT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SAYING SINCE PART 1!" Ami and Taiki yelled.  
  
Silver: Aren't I sooooo evil?  
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WOOHOO! Another one done. The song Minako sings in the beginning, and the 'itsu datte watashi yo' part is the song "Winner" from Fushigi Yuugi. The song she screams out while uh, bleeping Yaten, is 'Route Venus'.   
The traffic jam came to me during a class of mine.  
'Rhino the Traffic Bitch' IS a REAL person. He's the traffic guy for 106.9 'THe Rock'. HE SOOOOOO COOL! But this station is in the NY, NJ, CT Tri-state area I think.  
  
As always, I have to give all credit for inspiration and stuff to: my f*cked up imagination, my f*cked up sense of humor, Lianne Sentar and Amithyst, Nightbreak, the guys who run Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings, my fans, Coca Cola, Takeuchi Naoko, Watase Yuu, Toriyama Akira, the dudes who do Slayers, Midorikawa Hikaru, Furuya Tohru, Hayashibara Megumi, etc etc (Anime seiyuu), Vegete-chan who rules (HURRY UP WITH Z BALL DRAGON! SO FUNNY!), Chikara- Kikite- Yume- Kouri- Kurai- Kimura- etc. who run Fushigi Yuugi no Website, Millennium Guard, Lunar Rose (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FINISH YOUR STORIES!!!) etc etc. And now, I'm going to eat and bitch out Cartoon Network for starting DBZ at ' Arrival of Radditz' AGAIN EVEN THOUGH THE NEWER EPISODES SHOULD BE DONE!!!!!!!!! Ja ne.....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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